Well,  as you can see, I haven't been blogging much lately.  It's been a rough winter here in Montana.   In previous posts, I may have wrote about trying our luck here, since I was no longer working.  Well....We haven't even been here for a year, and we are already moving back to Washington.  

      We moved here at the end of June (2013).  The summer heat made me sick last year....which is EXTREMELY weird since I grew up in Washington's Desert....The summer a around there (which I gave lived in since my surgery) huts the triple digits regularly.   It didn't in Big Timber....but it almost felt like it was Moist Heat w/of humudity.  I don't know, but I really struggled that summer.  Air conditioning is also really difficult for me because my right side freezes even thought I'm hot and felt like I was over heating.... The result of overheating is me Very sick in the bathroom.

I also found out that St. Jude rep was no longer working with them.....that meant that he could no longer program me....Now, no one really understood the relationship between my St. Judes rep besides my Partner Christina.   Peter was amazing.   He was able to program my stimulator like nobody else!  They places the leads under my C2 next to my spinal cord.   They were really hoping to cover my Right arm down to my hand, as well as my neck pain.  

So.....I have decided that I am only getting certain symptoms of the RSD in my right leg.   Sometimes it changes color, sometimes its swells, sometimes it feels like my skin is being burned or peeled/ripped off.  Today I shaved my legs.....that was about 6 hours ago and it STILL feels that way.   I know its just crazy nerves, cause it starts down below my ankle bone, and runs up the outside of my right leg almost up to my knee.   Since my surgery, walking/standing has been my saving grace, however with the recent pain from my foot to my knee has even made that miserable half the time.    I hope and pray that it isn't/doesn't turn into full blown RSD....I don't want the entire right side of me to feel this way.  If you've had a messed up leg before, you can understand the way the 'good' leg begins to shirt from the extra weight/work that side is doing..... Its a catch 22 to use any device (knee brace, walking stick, etc....) as it actually weakens the limb.   Well, I used a knee brace at times, and a walking stick at times.....when it was REALLY bad, I used both.....however now I'm not using either.   I didn't fight the RSD in my arm by bracing it or not using it.....that'll make it worse!   So...as miserable as it may be, I'm just taking it one day at a time, taking it slow, lots and lits of breaks if I have to do anything.   I've learned when I'm pushing it to far, so I'm not sick.   Still get extremely nauseated, but I am learning where the 'breaking' point of no return is.   It takes me a lot longer to get very simple tasks done, however, I still do it and to me, that's the important part.   If every day was the same, this may not be so hard because I could find a routine/schedule to work around this.....BUT everyday is different so I don't know what to expect except pain.   I have a doctor appointment on Tuesday, so I'll write more after that.     Thank you all for your continued support & understanding!!!!!!!

The pics done show you how bad it is very well, however you can see some of it.  I will hopefully have more info soon!!!!    In the mean time I'm doing research about When, why, where and What causes RSD to move.  I'll post a link to any other information I find about it.  

So I had a procedure done yesterday at Kennewick General Hospital.  The procedure was to help stop the nausea and vomiting that I have been fighting with for about the last 2 months or longer.   We honestly had NO idea what the procedure was, or anything....The only thing we did know was there was a 50/50 shot I was staying in the Hospital.  What I REALLY wasn't to happy with...... is that I was honestly mostly awake through the entire thing!!!!  I am really beginning to HATE have procedures that I have to be awake for.  JUST KNOCK ME OUT ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  lol  

Well, because of this procedure, I had to reschedule my Doctors Appointment to the day before.  My Doctor and I had a fantastic Discussion with my Doctor, and we are really looking at the possibility that no only that not only could the RSD be spreading to my Tummy, but my Right Foot and up to the Knee as well.   They asked me to start taking pictures of it, so I will.  I just wish I had the pics from when my ankle was the size of my calf!!!   lol.....I had Kankles!!!    :)

I also found out the my St. Judes Person is no longer working for the company.  However, he was able to give me a good number to a previous co-worker of his that has extremely good experience and 15+ years doing these exact things.  I've asked them if they believe the Stimulator that I have implanted in my neck could possibly work for my feet....unfortunately the answer to that question....Was a very depressing "No".  Not only from my Doctor herself, but the St. Judes Person as well.  They said the leads are too far apart. 

Another thing they are doing is referring me back down to Lewiston Idaho to see the surgeon that did the implant.  They want to make sure that the car wreck we were in did not move either of the leads (which could be the reason that it doesn't cover my hand like it did at first) and that could also be the reason for the MAJORLY increased pain (which I believe is the cause of the nausea). 

(Please remember, this is NOT A MEDICAL SITE, NOT AM I GIVING MEDICAL ADVICE.)

Ok, So here is what I had Done Yesterday:  Celiac-Plexus-Nerve-Block.  Here is some information about it from the link above: 

• How is the celiac plexus block performed?   It is done with the patient lying on stomach. The patients are monitored with EKG, blood pressure cuff and an oxygen-monitoring device. The celiac plexus block is performed under sterile conditions. The skin on back is cleaned with antiseptic solution and the skin is then numbed with a local anesthetic. Then X-ray is used to guide the needle or needles into the proper position along the outside of the spine. Once in place, a test dose of dye is used to confirm that the injected medication will spread in an appropriate area. If this is okay, the injection takes place gradually over several minutes. The physician will use the X-ray to evaluate the spread of the injected medication. When a sufficient area is covered, the injection will be over. When done, the needle is removed and a Band Aid is applied.
• How long does the effect of the medication last? 
  The local anesthetic wears off in a few hours. However, the blockade of celiac plexus nerves may last for many more hours or days. Usually, the duration of relief gets longer after each injection.
• How many celiac plexus blocks do I need to have?
  If you respond to the first injection, you will be recommended for repeat injections. Usually, a series of such injections is needed to treat the problem. Some may need only 2 to 4 and some may need more than 10. The response to such injections varies from patient to patient.

When I woke up today, I was still nauseated, however it didn't seem as bad.  I sat down, took my meds with a SMALL sip of liquid, then continued not moving for about an hour or so.  It seemed that when the Nausea pill and the pain meds kicked in, that's about when the true nausea relief came.  However, at that point, the pain in my Right foot and Knee became much more apparent because I wasn't focusing on trying not to throw up.    I know there are some topics in this Blog that are not easy to read or even think about, however, I need to be able to give my Doctor a Day by Day and sometimes hour by hour account of how I'm doing and whats effecting what. 

Thank you all for all your continued support while we battle through yet another part of the War.... 

So......I've been on a LOA for a week or 2 now, and I'm still waiting on the next set of nerve blocks.   She (my doctor) thinks the RSD is moving.  We aren't exactly sure where or even why it's moving, but we think it's, other cause of the surgery or cause of when we got rear ended.  The nerve block I'm getting scheduled for is to hopefully stop the nausea.   Lately, the toes on my right foot can't be bent forward at all and my left foot/heal feels like I'm walking on bone.  We aren't sure what the problem is yet, however I'm extremely grateful for the time off I've been given.  I can definitely tell if I've done too much in 1 day, cause if so, I'm miserable for the next 3 or 4 days......sometimes longer.  What I wouldn't give for 1 day without pain.....then....I actually think about that and if it all went away for a day....then came back.....I think that's more than I could mentally handle....

The pain tonight is intense.   I've been pacing my living room for about 3 hours of so.   I can only imagine how hard it is for Christina........   I'm just beyond grateful to have found the most mazing women in the world!!!    No matter how much I need or how much help she gives me, she never feels sorry for me and she never tells me I can't do something.    She does tell me WHEN I probably SHOULDN'T do something but that's different!!!   I know that if I asked or even hinted to a massage to help with the pain, she'd be getting everything ready before I even finished asking!!   I'm doing everything I can to try and show all the sides of what I've been through......some are much harder to accept.  Some days are 100 times harder to get up and make myself face the day than it used to.  Social Security & Disability has never been an option, but at the same time.... how long is bit worth it to fight this battle?   How long will I have the strength and determination?  I know that my baby will continue to support me, even when I have rough days and talk about things that normally I'd never to (hence the Social Security subject)....  I never want to be a statistic or somebody that I would be ashamed of because I wouldn't be working for a living.   its things like this that she can listen to, let me vent, and know I'm doing just that.           
    There are days that I STILL regret this surgery.        
    Then.....then there are days that I think it was the best thing ever!!!        What nobody realizes is that I couldn't have done any of it without her. 

1. Not preparing for the surgery ....
2. Not going through the surgery....
3. Not the healing process.....
4. Not going back to work.....
5. ONE OF WHAT I WENT THROUGH COULD HAVE BEEN DONE WITHOUT HER!!!

With each day that passes, and each challenge we face (yes, I do say we....she's as much a part of me, as I am a part of myself), I am confident we will get through this.    I will continue writing of my daily challenges, trials, triumphs and everything else we will continue facing together.        I may talk to her about adding a small (or big) section where she can write about her experiences, feelings and what she's had to deal with throughout this process.....   could be quite interesting......

The quote above is actually something that I just found today....but it actually explains how I have tried to live my life since the day I broke my hand.  I will NEVER forget that day, and I'm sure my best friend won't either.  There was a huge argument, some Domestic Violence happening, then, when I finally couldn't take it anymore, and my family was being threatened....I snapped and Punched a wall.  Little known to me (until I actually hit the wall) there was a Brick Chimney behind this wall that had never been removed.  They just covered it up with the Plaster of Paris and made it look like it was always there.  Well, since that day, I have really had to change how I dealt with frustration.  Before, anytime I had so much emotion built up inside me, and I didn't know how to release it, I would just punch something.  However, until that fateful day on March 7th, I had never broke anything by punching a wall, or whatever to release my tension.  Well....since that day, I have been protecting my right hand like I never knew or thought was possible.  Well, on this last Saturday (not yesterday) I was trying to do some work on my girlfriends car, when the wrench broke, and my hand shot forward (in a punching motion) and slammed into the intake of the engine.  Hence...it felt as though I busted my hand again.  So, we wanted until Monday (because I'm stubborn and I don't like doctors messing with my Right hand.  Most of the time they don't believe me when I am telling them my pain, or they just think I want pain meds.  Well, little do they all know...pain meds don't really work for my hand....its NERVE PAIN!!!!  So, we went to see our Primary on Monday.  When she saw it, she immediately sent me for X-Ray's.  When the results came back, to both our surprise, it was not broken.  She asked me if I wanted any meds, and I said no.  She advised that I just take some IB Prophen to help with the swelling, and if I wasn't feeling better in 2 weeks, to come back.  Well, I wore the brace for about 2 days...then that was enough of that.  With the RSD, the reduced movement really increases the pain at a steady rate.  I would rather feel the pain from moving the Sprained/painful area, than I would have increased pain from lack of movement, increased skin sensitivity due to the Nerve issues....No thank you!!!  I'd rather just suck it up, even after finding out about the possibility of a Hairline fracture.     The more I've been moving it, the better Its been feeling, so the more I've been doing with it. 
    Well, on Thursday, I really wanted to mow the lawn, but due to the weather, and the fact that I was really hurting.  We decided to wait until Friday because then I could have 'my weekend' to rest and recover.  Plus, on Friday, Christina could help as well.   So....after work on Friday, that was exactly the plan!  She came and picked me up at work because the Kia that I was trying to fix, still isn't' working, therefore we are down to one car.  So....on Saturday, when we get home from picking me up, we decided to mow the lawn.  Well, it was the first time our lawn had been mowed all season, as we just got the lawn mower back the previous weekend. 
    So, instead of just starting up the lawn mower, I wanted to adjust the wheels.  I was attempting to raise the front wheels, so that it would me much more effective, quicker, and easier to mow for the first time.  Well.... the front right side was easy.  So were both back wheels.  The front left wheel on the other hand,  was a WHOLE DIFFERENT BALL GAME!!!!  It was broken.  I didn't realize it was broken.  So, as I was trying to forcefully push it backwards, it snapped, my finger slipped, and I got quite the deep cut on my Right Index finger.  Part is just a Shallow cut, but as it goes towards the other side, it just keeps getting deeper.  Well, since we are both Medical Assistants, there was no point in going to the doctor.  We decided to clean it and bandage it at home.  The only part I was starting to worry about, was getting the Bleeding to stop, as it was bleeding alot.  My girlfriend is So Smart!!!  She went and grabbed a Cup of flour, and dumped it on my finger.  I kid you not, the bleeding stopped in about 5 seconds!!!!  We allowed it to just sit like that for about 10 minutes or so, then we started the cleaning and bandaging process.  We did AWESOME!!!  
  

Now, we figured that would actually be the end of the eventful weekend.  Boy we were mistaken!!!  I left work about 1:30 on Saturday after everything was finished at work, and I was really hurting.  When I am hurting that bad, I'm also beyond exhausted, so I decided to come home early.  We decided we were going to cuddle up on the couch, and just rest and relax the remainder of the day away.  Well.....yesterday was especially windy, and the tree in our front yard has some issues.    As we were sitting on the couch under the blanket watching a show, we heard this VERY loud Popping and it sounded like somebody was beating on our door...or bouncing a basket ball off the door...so Christina quickly got up to see what happened.  She Immediately, and calmly (at first) said "Baby....You need to call Justin.  There is a tree on our car!"  Well, I jump off the couch and RUN outside.....Sure as Shit, a huge branch had busted and was laying on our white 2012 Chevy Sonic!!!!!  I Swear that I am telling the truth!!! 

I will continue updating this with the diary of my procedures......

At first we couldn't figure out why I was so swollen after this 5.5 hour procedure, but, then we found out I was face down the entire time.   It was SO hard to open my eyes cause they were so swollen.  Same with trying to take a drink!  lol

This is one of the first pictures of my incision at all.  We were still at the hospital, and they were checking the incisions prior to releasing me.

Another view of the incisions....  I loved how nicely they stitched the one that nobody would see, but the one on my neck looked Crappy!!!!

This picture was a bout a month or so after the surgery happened.  Their was actually a few internal stitches that took about a month or so to work their way out.   They were extremely painful!!!!

The amount of red is partially a sunburn I got the few days before surgery.

The Procedure was originally scheduled back in march.  They are thinking the car wreck we were in at McDonald's in February may have caused more trauma.  Today, we actually had the procedure.  At first, I was not sure what at all to expect.  I actually did more research one we got home, then I did before hand.  Honestly, I have found that this usually results in me having less anxiety.  If I have done research (then you add the fact that I am a Medical Assistant) can actually cause me to have a panic attack and extreme bouts of anxiety when I know they are not following the correct (or what I THINK is the correct procedure).  So, before I went in, I actually took my medications.  :)  Plus, now that I am very aware of this whole anxiety issue, it makes it much easier for me to process and deal with it because I am aware of it. There is a website I was referred to if I had any further questions (common FAQ's) www.docstoc.com.
    Basically, the purpose of this procedure was to try and get the specific muscles that are really causing the problem, to relax.  Now, it can take up to 2 weeks for me to get the full benefits of this, however, in addition to the Lidacane, or general anesthetic they used, they also injected some steroids to try and speed up the healing process. My biggest hope, is that my neck will actually start to heal.  He did ask me today if I felt that this was really all because of the accident in February.  I told him that I feel 'Muscle' pain and I also feel 'Bone' pain in my neck.  I really don't know how to describe it any better than that.  I have sharp pain that shoots down into my back.  it shoots across my shoulders to the other side as well.  There are times that if I try and turn my head to look (say to change lanes while driving) that it will actually almost drop me to my knees.  The pain I feel when 'pushing' my limits, is almost always at a steady 7-9, depending on the direction I am trying to look.  Some days are better than others, and now that my medications have changed, I have started to notice a small difference in the last 24 hours.  What makes this so difficult to try and judge, is that a lot of things have changed since I saw my Doctor on Thursday.  Not only did they change my muscle relaxer, but they also proscribed another medication that should help in addition to the muscle relaxer in addition to the other changes.....  Then, four days later, I have injections into my muscles.  I know a large part of this, is taking it one day at a time.  And, without my baby, I wouldn't be doing that!!!
    In addition to my nerve condition, I also injured my right hand by accidentally hitting the engine in the car, when the wrench I was using bused.  I went to the Doctor to confirm that their was no actual break, however, even the doctor was surprised when she was it.   I am trying to take this all one day at a time.  Both my baby and I will continue to heal together.   Hopefully hers is consistently improving and she will no longer be in pain, and hopefully mine won't need anything more than just a normal monthly check up.  :)  Wouldn't that be the life!!!!  I can't wait for the day when we are able to get our paddle boards, and go out on the lake because we are strong enough.  We are coming up with new things to look forward to since I can't do things like Silver Wood Anymore.  I can race Gas Powered Cars, We can get paddle boards (I stand to much for canoes) however we haven't completely ruled the idea of some Canoes out yet.  The plus side to the Paddle Board, is its meant for me to stand....or, if I really wanted a break, I could sit, or even lay down for a relaxing float too!!!  Christina and I were thinking/talking about it, and even Thor would most likely enjoy it....as long as he can be near me, hes happy.   We even found some Paddle Boards that were not Overly expensive (less than $700) which just proves that dreams CAN come true!!!!   lol....  Well, now that we have listed some of our goals, I will continue updating the Blog as we are able to achieve some of these dreams!!!!!  We have figured out that with each other, our friends and family that support us....we will be able to achieve each and every goal and dream we set for ourselves.     Thank you all so much for reading, and supporting the journey that my love and I face!  Peace & Love!!!!

     So, In a previous blog, I mentioned that I was going to have a procedure to hopefully stop the muscle spasms.  Well, my girlfriend ended up having surgery the same day, so we had to cancel.  We had to be in Spokane by 6 am for her check in.  My appointment was scheduled for 2 p.m. in Kennewick WA.  We knew it was going to be tight to try and get both in, however we were not given any options.  When I saw my Doctor, he said he wanted to get me in as soon as possible which ended up being 3 weeks out.  Then, when we saw her Doctor, Tuesday was the only option, and they scheduled her in before his 1st surgery.  They figured it would only take about an hour but it ended up taking over 2 hours.  I was quite concerned actually, and nobody was telling me anything.  It was kind of a blessing in disguise because I have been having to help her get up and down.  If I had done the procedure, even if it had helped, chances are, it wouldn't have worked as well, or lasted as long.  Trust....I wouldn't want it any other way.  If this actually helps her, then its all worth it!  Once she is healed, I will reschedule my appointment and we will hopefully get the most out of it.  My girlfriend and I have realized that my shoes are having a huge affect on my pain as well.  I looked at the soles of my shoes, and I very much walk on the outside edge of my feet.  Also, the heals are extremely worn down also on the outside edges.  We've already tried some insoles for them, and they don't seem to help at all.  The issue is...I have a hard time spending money on expensive clothing, shoes or accessories for myself.  But, like my baby said....in the long run, I'm actually spending about the same.  Cheap shoes are only lasting about 2 or 3 months.  the last time we bought Sketchers for me, they lasted like 6 months and then I stopped wearing them because they were the Shape Ups, and my Doctor said they were probably increasing my back pain as well.  The reason I liked them so much, was that they were so cushioned inside!!!  It felt like I was standing on clouds!!!  I wish I could find a pair of shoes that feel like that on the inside, without being Shape Ups!!!  That would be Ideal!!!  I'm not sure...I just know we need to figure something out.  After having my shoes on for an hour, my feet ache and my back starts throbbing.  I hate it!!!  But...right now, the main focus is getting my baby back on her feet.  I really hope and pray that this surgery actually helped solve her pain issue!!!

The Season's Changing is one of the things I used to look forward to the most.  Not only did it mean a different type of Weather, sometimes Longer days, sometimes shorter, but It also meant, that it was Either Summer, which meant I was free to be with the horses all day, or it meant that I was One season Closer to Summer, when I was free to be with the horses again.  Summer has ALWAYS been my favorite season!  Since I was born in December, I always said I should have been born in Australia, as December is their Summer!!!  (I know....Doesn't really count considering I also thought I was on the Titanic and I was eaten by sharks!!!)  But, either way, the Fact remains that Summer is BY FAR, my favorite season even as an Adult.  Before that day long ago when I broke my hand, Summer was still my favorite time.  It meant that I would be outside working on my car, playing basket ball, swimming, playing on a Co-Ed Softball team, Roller-Blading and anything else I could find to do.  My Best Friend and at the time Roommate, were outside playing basket ball either by ourselves, or with the neighborhood kids.  We were constantly riding our bikes, and finding outdoor things to do.  We went' camping almost every weekend in the summer time.  I swear, I could have been more than just 'happy' living permanently out in the woods "Camping".  It would save up so much Money!!!  We were very Very active people.  Even after I broke my hand, I continued being active.  I just tried to find a way to modify the activity to be the least painful for me as we could possibly do.  For example, We changed the hand grips on my bike to be a much softer, gentle material that didn't bother my hand as much.  In addition to that, Instead of always riding using my hands and a lot of pressure on my wrists and forearms, I changes how I gripped the handle bars.  I used my right hand to assist with steering.  That way, if I couldn't use it, I was still able to ride my bike with some slight changes.  The wind on my arm used to really be a problem for me, so we came up with a way to cover my arm, using material that I could tolerate touching me, and then found ways to not only keep it on, but if I got cold, we could use those Portable Hand Warmers and insert them into my arm cover (needless to say, my bestie/room-mate is VERY creative!!!).   I never wanted to be the one to let this hold me back.  Even when I knew it was something that I shouldn't' be doing, or was extremely painful to do, I would find a different reason to avoid the situation.  That way, again, I never had to say "I can't do it" as that is something that is extremely hard for me to deal with, so, I just pretend its something else.  That is one of the most helpful ways for me to deal with my pain.  Instead of saying that I can't do something, I focus on something else, and that I am able to do.

       I very much believe that this determination is what has helped me to get through this while maintaining a full time job.  I would never say that I am a Pro and understand everything that I am going through.  Hence the reason for the Injections that are coming my way, and why else would I be blogging, Creating a website and managing a Facebook page about this right now? 

        Even though the weather does have a huge effect on my pain, and how badly the day effects me, there is much more that effected the reasons behind my recent change of interests.  You see, as I stated above, I used to be very active.  However, since I got the RSD, my activities did Decrease.  I quite doing things like Snow boarding for fear of what would happen if I crashed, or fell.  I was so scared of the RSD moving to my left arm, or my leg if I got hurt.  That's how the activities slowly started to decrease.  I really only did a few things that didn't really hurt the rest of my body, and didn't include my hand.  Well, that all changed the day I decided to get this surgery. 

        The first thing my partner and I realized after watching the first video about the simulator, is that most of the people in the video were much older than myself.  Most of them were older than my parents for that matter.  However, we decided after discussing it quite a bit with each other, our family members, the doctors, and our friends.  We were able to talk to a few people who either had it, or knew somebody that did have it.  Finally we decided that Pro's outweighed the Delta's, and we told my doctor we were interested.   They quickly sent us home with more videos, and a book that I needed to keep track of where my pain was, so we could compare that to where my pain was with the temporary stimulator in. 

       They weren't expecting to be able to get me in so quickly, however it only took about 3 weeks until we were ready to implanted  the Temporary stimulator into my Spinal Cord. I wasn't able to take a shower the entire time I had this in, because as my Doctor put it "It's a direct portal to the Spine!  NO Shower, No Water."  He kinda scared us, but I guess that was kinda his point!  I will be taking a Picture of the temporary lead that I had inserted in my spine.  I had it in for 4 days.  During that period of time, I was not able to Pull my self up out of a chair, our bed, Take a shower, drive, or anything else because the Lead could move.  Since this was just a temporary trial period, the lead was not anchored down as they are when permanently implanted. 

        We had to prove to the insurance company that there was at least a 50% improvement when it came to my pain level.  For my RSD, it was a total success, and we even had hopes at the time that it may even cover my neck!!  If we could get it to cover my neck, were very may have been able to control all of my chronic pain just by doing the implant.  

Please be patient.....I will post pictures and more about the Implant, the surgery itself, and how long it took me to heal afterwards.  That will all be coming soon. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my story and being apart of my journey!