Pictures from Pain April 28th

The pain tonight is intense.   I've been pacing my living room for about 3 hours of so.   I can only imagine how hard it is for Christina........   I'm just beyond grateful to have found the most mazing women in the world!!!    No matter how much I need or how much help she gives me, she never feels sorry for me and she never tells me I can't do something.    She does tell me WHEN I probably SHOULDN'T do something but that's different!!!   I know that if I asked or even hinted to a massage to help with the pain, she'd be getting everything ready before I even finished asking!!   I'm doing everything I can to try and show all the sides of what I've been through......some are much harder to accept.  Some days are 100 times harder to get up and make myself face the day than it used to.  Social Security & Disability has never been an option, but at the same time.... how long is bit worth it to fight this battle?   How long will I have the strength and determination?  I know that my baby will continue to support me, even when I have rough days and talk about things that normally I'd never to (hence the Social Security subject)....  I never want to be a statistic or somebody that I would be ashamed of because I wouldn't be working for a living.   its things like this that she can listen to, let me vent, and know I'm doing just that.           
    There are days that I STILL regret this surgery.        
    Then.....then there are days that I think it was the best thing ever!!!        What nobody realizes is that I couldn't have done any of it without her. 

1. Not preparing for the surgery ....
2. Not going through the surgery....
3. Not the healing process.....
4. Not going back to work.....
5. ONE OF WHAT I WENT THROUGH COULD HAVE BEEN DONE WITHOUT HER!!!

With each day that passes, and each challenge we face (yes, I do say we....she's as much a part of me, as I am a part of myself), I am confident we will get through this.    I will continue writing of my daily challenges, trials, triumphs and everything else we will continue facing together.        I may talk to her about adding a small (or big) section where she can write about her experiences, feelings and what she's had to deal with throughout this process.....   could be quite interesting......