March 7th, 2003 changed my life forever. I was in a very unhealthy relationship at the time. I was not in control of my life, or anything that happened to me during that time. The person that I was dating, was very much in control, and was emotionally and physically abusive. We brought out the worst in each other. I will not say I was innocent, but I never touched her. Ever. I've considered the repercussions that I could face just by writing this blog, but, as I said on the home page, If I'm able to bring hope to 1 person, than this is worth it.
The day started off completely normal. However, I had a court appointment that day at 9 am. When we got there, we found out it was actually at 1:30. When we got home, she flipped out. She was throwing me around, and then threatened to turn my mom in for smoking weed. That instantly enraged me, so I punched the wall. Well, there was a chimney behind the wall. It immediately broke my hand. I showed my roommate, and she took me to the ER. That day....the battle begun.
The ER doctor immediately questioned the amount of pain I was in. I had always heard that a sprain was so much more painful than a break...and, being a sports fanatic in high school, I knew sprains first hand, and this was WAY more painful than anything I had ever felt. Including getting my head stepped on by a horse! Anyway, he put me in a partial cast, and told me to follow up with my primary doc in 2-3 days for a cast. Well, I still had to go back to court that day! Imagine me trying to explain to the judge why I was perfectly fine earlier, and then when I return, I'm in a sling with a half cast. He even questioned me about it! He asked if I wanted to talk about it. I quickly answered no.
Within hours of the cast being put on, I was calling the doctor back because the cast itself was poking my 3rd knuckle and causing even more pain. The cut it off, which was also extremely painful. At first, they all just thought I was a wimp, who had No pain tolerance. I had 4 casts put on and they were all cut off. Eventually they referred me to a specialist because they didn't understand why I was in so much pain. The specialist cut my cast off and took X-Ray's. He saw that their were 3 additional fractures in my hand besides just the 'Boxer's Fracture'. He put me in another cast thinking that would help, but, I was back within 24 hours, and they were cutting it off again.
They did another X-Ray, and couldn't find any reason for my intense pain. So, he referred me to a physical therapist. I thought he was crazy, but it turned out that she was able to help the diagnosis. I went to physical therapy for quite awhile, and she was able to determine the Overly sensitive skin, the lack of mobility, the pain, the intolerance to cold, the change in color and the darkening of my arm hair. All these signs pointed her towards Reflux Sympathetic Dystrophy. During this time frame, I was desperately trying anything that would ease the pain. It gets you to a point of mentally breaking down. Its the most alone I've ever felt and it seemed like the more people I would surround myself with, the more alone I actually felt because none of them knew or understood what I was going through. It was hard to talk about, because it seemed like it was consuming my life, and I was going to mentally explode because nobody believed me! If it wasn't for Kari Bodwin, The physical Therapist, Who knows how long it would have taken for them to figure it out!! And because I didn't have health insurance, all the doctors that saw me, Including Kari, did it all for free!!! She was amazing!!! The very first day I saw her, she created a "cast" type protector for my hand and my pinky. There wasn't anything we could do to protect both my fingers and the portion of my hand without restricting my movement, which is the opposite effect that she wanted. She never once made me feel like I was faking it or just wanting the medication! It got to the point that the physical therapist's called my Doctor's office and Chewed them out for not medicating me and helping me manage the pain. So, they put me on some narcotic medication in addition to the Nerve medications. Sadly...this didn't really help either! They also made me seek out a Therapist as well because so many RSD patients commit suicide. It was immediately a requirement of my treatment. I did everything they asked for about the first 3 or 4 years. I was constantly at the doctors office. At least 3-4 appointments a week...every week! It got really old, really fast! Especially when all they were telling me was "I'm sorry, there is no cure".
The day started off completely normal. However, I had a court appointment that day at 9 am. When we got there, we found out it was actually at 1:30. When we got home, she flipped out. She was throwing me around, and then threatened to turn my mom in for smoking weed. That instantly enraged me, so I punched the wall. Well, there was a chimney behind the wall. It immediately broke my hand. I showed my roommate, and she took me to the ER. That day....the battle begun.
The ER doctor immediately questioned the amount of pain I was in. I had always heard that a sprain was so much more painful than a break...and, being a sports fanatic in high school, I knew sprains first hand, and this was WAY more painful than anything I had ever felt. Including getting my head stepped on by a horse! Anyway, he put me in a partial cast, and told me to follow up with my primary doc in 2-3 days for a cast. Well, I still had to go back to court that day! Imagine me trying to explain to the judge why I was perfectly fine earlier, and then when I return, I'm in a sling with a half cast. He even questioned me about it! He asked if I wanted to talk about it. I quickly answered no.
Within hours of the cast being put on, I was calling the doctor back because the cast itself was poking my 3rd knuckle and causing even more pain. The cut it off, which was also extremely painful. At first, they all just thought I was a wimp, who had No pain tolerance. I had 4 casts put on and they were all cut off. Eventually they referred me to a specialist because they didn't understand why I was in so much pain. The specialist cut my cast off and took X-Ray's. He saw that their were 3 additional fractures in my hand besides just the 'Boxer's Fracture'. He put me in another cast thinking that would help, but, I was back within 24 hours, and they were cutting it off again.
They did another X-Ray, and couldn't find any reason for my intense pain. So, he referred me to a physical therapist. I thought he was crazy, but it turned out that she was able to help the diagnosis. I went to physical therapy for quite awhile, and she was able to determine the Overly sensitive skin, the lack of mobility, the pain, the intolerance to cold, the change in color and the darkening of my arm hair. All these signs pointed her towards Reflux Sympathetic Dystrophy. During this time frame, I was desperately trying anything that would ease the pain. It gets you to a point of mentally breaking down. Its the most alone I've ever felt and it seemed like the more people I would surround myself with, the more alone I actually felt because none of them knew or understood what I was going through. It was hard to talk about, because it seemed like it was consuming my life, and I was going to mentally explode because nobody believed me! If it wasn't for Kari Bodwin, The physical Therapist, Who knows how long it would have taken for them to figure it out!! And because I didn't have health insurance, all the doctors that saw me, Including Kari, did it all for free!!! She was amazing!!! The very first day I saw her, she created a "cast" type protector for my hand and my pinky. There wasn't anything we could do to protect both my fingers and the portion of my hand without restricting my movement, which is the opposite effect that she wanted. She never once made me feel like I was faking it or just wanting the medication! It got to the point that the physical therapist's called my Doctor's office and Chewed them out for not medicating me and helping me manage the pain. So, they put me on some narcotic medication in addition to the Nerve medications. Sadly...this didn't really help either! They also made me seek out a Therapist as well because so many RSD patients commit suicide. It was immediately a requirement of my treatment. I did everything they asked for about the first 3 or 4 years. I was constantly at the doctors office. At least 3-4 appointments a week...every week! It got really old, really fast! Especially when all they were telling me was "I'm sorry, there is no cure".
RSS Feed